I CAME HERE ON HOLIDAY. IS THERE A TEST AT THE END?

Some people book a trip and immediately start researching museums, art movements and the history of the city.

I do my research too.

Restaurants, views, beautiful places and somewhere to have a drink with a piano playing in the background. We all prepare in our own way.

Some people arrive in a city and know that a particular building is an excellent example of neo-Gothic architecture.

I arrive, look up and think: “How beautiful. Where’s the best spot to take a photo?”

We’re both appreciating the building. One of us just has a bigger vocabulary.

Some people walk into a museum and spend three hours utterly fascinated. They read the descriptions, move closer, step back and recognise the painter before looking at the name. I admire that ability. Honestly.

But I can also spend quite a while fascinated by a terrace overlooking the river. Especially if it comes with a good cocktail or dessert menu.

The problem starts when someone asks:

“So, you went to that city and didn’t visit that museum?”

And they ask with an expression that makes you feel as though you’ve just wasted a plane ticket.

No, I didn’t. I wandered around, saw beautiful things, ate well, listened to music, sat looking out over the city and was very happy for a few hours.

Sorry. I didn’t realise there was a test when I got back.

I didn’t go to the museum. Can we still be friends?

Some people travel to understand a place’s history. They want to know who built it, who lived there, what happened in that square and why that façade matters.

Others want to stroll across the square, turn down a street without knowing where it leads and discover a restaurant that makes them want to stay.

One person brings a list of monuments. The other has ten restaurants saved for a five-day trip.

Both will have some difficult choices to make.

Some people also have very specific places they want to see. That tower, that bridge, that viewpoint. They go from one to the next, follow the map and tick things off the list.

I go up 150 metres in a balloon and, in 15 minutes, see the whole city from above.

“Did you go and see that place?”

“Yes. And the one next to it too.”

All right, I didn’t see the details. But I got an excellent overview and still had time for lunch.

And then there are those famous “Instagrammable” places, sometimes mentioned in the tone of someone who has just discovered a serious flaw in your character.

Yes, I like beautiful places to photograph.

I like the light, the view, a nicely set table and a rooftop bar where you can see the whole city. If I happen to get a nice photo of myself along the way, I won’t be filing a complaint.

That doesn’t mean I spent the whole trip staring at a screen. It means I found something beautiful and wanted a record of it.

People who visit museums have photos of paintings on their phones too. It’s just a different framing.

Of course, both types of traveller can exist in the same person.

A church in the morning. A local dish for lunch. A museum in the afternoon. A cocktail with a view at the end of the day.

Or just two of those things, because we’re on holiday and our feet deserve a say in the decisions too.

The real compatibility test comes when those two versions of ourselves clash during the trip.

One says: “Tomorrow, we’re leaving at eight to make the most of the day.”

The other replies: “At eight, I’ll still be making the most of the bed.”

One wants to see six monuments before lunch. The other wants a leisurely breakfast somewhere nice and to take it from there.

Sometimes, people leave the hotel intending to walk along the river, but on the way they spot a sign that tempts them into a museum and, before they know it, they’re on a two-hour guided tour.

It’s not always worth it. Sometimes, twenty minutes in, they’re already regretting it.

That’s why I like discovering places my own way. Walking, watching people, finding views, trying things and stopping whenever I feel like it. I may not come home able to explain the style of a façade, but I remember exactly how I felt sitting in front of it.

And I remember what I ate too. I have my areas of expertise.

You know who built the palace. I know where to have lunch with a view of it.

Perhaps the six goes inside the palace to learn its history.

The nine heads up to the rooftop to see the whole palace.

In the end, they both say: “You really have to go. It’s incredible.”

Everyone enjoys a trip in their own way. And although life doesn’t always give us everything we want, I already have one thing: the date of my next trip.

The itinerary can wait. First, we need to know where to eat.