INTUITION CAN BE WRONG TOO.

Three seconds are enough.

A glance.

An outfit.

A way of speaking.

A posture.

A serious face.

A laugh that is too loud.

And we have already decided so much.

“I don’t like her.”

“He seems arrogant.”

“She has a good heart.”

“I don’t trust that kind of person.”

Then we give it a beautiful name:

intuition.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes our brain picks up on real signals before we can explain them. A strange tone. An inconsistency. A discomfort that is difficult to put into words. And it is worth not always ignoring that feeling.

But there is another side. Sometimes what we call intuition is simply prejudice with good presentation.

It is past experience, projection, fear. It is someone reminding us of another person. It is an outfit we associate with a certain type of person. It is an accent, a tattoo, a profession. It is a way of carrying oneself.

And in three seconds, we have already built an entire story about someone who has not even opened their mouth.

The most dangerous part is that we then start looking for proof that we were right. If the person smiles, we think they are pretending. If they stay quiet, they are unfriendly. If they talk a lot, they are showing off. If they defend themselves, it confirms what we had already decided.

Deep down, we are often not getting to know someone; we are simply confirming the first impression we formed.

But it would also be naïve to say that first impressions mean nothing. They do. They just do not mean everything.

Some people make a good impression and then disappoint us. Some people irritate us at first sight and turn out to be extraordinary. Some seem cold because they are shy, while others seem confident because they have learned to hide their insecurity. Some seem distant because they are simply tired, while others seem charming precisely because they know very well how to make a good impression.

This is where the two perspectives come in.

On the one hand:

“Trust your instinct.”

On the other:

“Give reality enough time to contradict your instinct.”

And sometimes the mistake is not judging quickly; the brain does that on its own.

The mistake is turning a first guess into a definitive sentence. Intuition often protects us, but just as often it reveals our own filters.

So perhaps it is worth asking a question before deciding who someone is:

“Am I understanding this person, or am I merely recognising them through my own stories?”

Because three seconds may tell us something, but they rarely tell us everything.